This blog is a record of my journey, to discover more about ‘Developmental Trauma Disorder’ or DTD as I think I may ‘have it or a form of it’? Sadly, like so many others, my childhood (2-16) was defined by cyclical, enduring and terrifying domestic violence and from 11 to 16 sexual abuse was thrown in for good measure! I am a 52 year old woman, I am NOT a clinician, a therapist, or an academic. My coping strategy has been to keep all ‘the bad s***’ in an old tin in my head and I just had to work my butt off to pretend I’m ‘normal’ and keep kid the lid firmly on! August 2015 for some reason the lid blew off the in and I can’t get it back on so now I HAVE TO deal with the s*** in the box. I have not previously read on the topics of ‘Domestic Violence, Child Trauma, or Sexual Abuse’. Why would I want to remind myself of all of that…. Really!? But something ‘snapped’ in August. 10 weeks ago I came across the work of Dr Bessel van der Kolk and Dr Nadine Burke-Harris. I want my journey to be real but without having to be too explicit, I can’t always bear to read ‘survivors experiences’ why should others be any different? I want to be funny wherever possible, to be honest with my reflections and to see where this takes me! (If I remember to keep doing it – completing something… that would be a first)! Buckle Up!